(as a reintroduction, since i basically abandoned this space, i felt it only fitting to post this birthday note that i've had typed up since august, when i actually turned 30.  i toyed with the idea of creating a new blog altogether since i feel like i am a new version of myself, but since i have a hard time making decisions, months have passed and i just haven't been blogging.  until i figure out what i want to do, i'll just keep sharing on this space.  maybe i'll never create a new blog and just morph this space into what i want it to be.  we'll see.  in the meantime, i got rid of the old name, oh she's lovely and am just "ralizabeth" now.  thanks for sticking by me and growing with me).  

hi!  i'm 30!

i am so thrilled and excited for this milestone.  some people dread getting older and i'm over here like yassssss bitch!  i'm 30 and i've never looked or felt better!  i wear my age as a badge of honor.

each year on my birthday, i've tried to do some self reflection of the past year and write my thoughts in a blog post.  you can see last year's post here, and also 28 here, and 27 here.  i don't have a blog post for year 26 and years 25, 24 and 23 are on an old disabled blog that only i can see ;)  looking back at each year's post is so telling of my growth and who i was as i turned a new age.  i contemplated whether or not i was going to write a post this year and decided yes!  you'll want to read this next year and the year after that and the year after that! 

so here i am, trying to put into words what i'm feeling.  it feels impossible to do that.  to put into words how i feel.  all that comes to mind is i feel different.  i am different.  i've changed and i couldn't be more proud of the woman that i am and who i'm becoming.

this past year, for the first time in my life, i sat with my feelings, my thoughts, my wants and my desires.  i took time to reflect on how i was living my life and what i wanted to change.  sounds insane, but i had never done this before.  i welcomed my anxiety because for the first time in my life i realized when i'm anxious, my body is actually telling me something.  in the past i would ignore those feelings and power through it, chalking it up to me being irrational.  for the first time ever, i asked myself why and i sat with those feelings instead of trying to bury them.

i had many uncomfortable conversations and uncomfortable moments with myself.  after a while, i began to crave those uncomfortable moments.  i wanted to keep growing and keep learning about myself.  i still want to keep growing and keep learning about myself.  for the first time in my life, i feel at peace with who i am, and i love it.


happy fuckin birthday to me!

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i have slowed down as of late and have just been filling my days with finding a new normal.  i never feel bad for taking it slow, hitting the pause button and just taking some me time.  i've been meaning to come on over here to share what's been going on lately and have just not made the time to do it.  today i'm making the time.

junior and i have moved from our teeny, tiny one bedroom apartment and are now in a more spacious one bedroom apartment.  the reason for our move was to add a new member into our family of two.  please allow me to introduce our fur baby, indi.  indi is the soul that i've been missing in my life.  since the moment he was set in my arms when we picked him up on april 6th, i knew he was born just to be mine.  it's insane how that can happen.

he is a blue merle miniature australian shepherd with one blue/brown marbled eye.  he's been doing great with potty training and only has accidents on the weekends, when our routine is thrown off and we fail as doggy parents.  he's super energetic and loves all people and all dogs.  we already know how to sit, stay, lay down and come here inside the home but outside with all of this big world's distractions, we forget how to listen ;)

i am enjoying this new season of life so, so much, soaking in as much puppy time as i can!!


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for years i've been wanting to share my office style and i never got around to it.  i'm talking years.  if you go through my old posts, i'm sure you can find me talking about it here or there.  i've even had people message me throughout the years asking me to share more outfit ideas for the office because the majority of my followers work a 9-5.  and so it's always been in the back of my mind.

i just figured most people online share fun outfits to wear on weekends or nights out and so i should do the same.  but that's absolutely ridiculous.  more times than not, i'm actually dressed in a business casual outfit because i work in an office.  the majority of my closet is work appropriate clothes but i also have some fun, weekend clothes thrown in there.  and so i have this real talent of transforming some of my fun, weekend clothes for the office.  or making my office clothes cute and trendy enough to wear on a night out with my hunny or friends.  better late than never, am i right?

the point of this new series is to inspire you to reuse all of the items in your wardrobe in different ways to really get the most of your closet.  what you'll learn in this series is that basics are your best friend and accessories can really transform your look from office appropriate to happy hour ready in an instant.

in this series, i'll be sharing two different looks...one office looks and one weekend vibe using similar items!  first up, an all black look...

disclosure: some of the links in this post are affiliate links, meaning, at no additional cost to you, i will earn a commission if you click through and/or make a purchase.  thank you for helping support my blog!
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i did an instagram poll earlier this week and asked what blog post did you want up today.  it was a close call but the majority of you wanted to see the different ways i deal with anxiety!  i've had this post typed up and saved in my drafts for a while now and i'm so excited to finally share this post with you all.

since going to therapy last year i learned so many different things about myself and one of them was how extreme my anxiety is.  i actually didn't even know i had anxiety.  i thought everyone felt like i felt and just hid it just like i did.  i thought it was normal to be afraid of absolutely everything and not tell anyone what i was feeling.  just go through the motions.  or worse, stop myself from doing certain things because of my fear.

in marriage counseling one evening i mentioned how i went to the bathroom one night that i felt anxious because i didn't want junior to know what i was feeling.  or worse, have him ask me any questions or worry about me.  at the end of that therapy session, our therapist asked me to see her alone the next time.  at my solo session, she immediately sat down and said i asked to see you alone because i wasn't sure how comfortable you are talking about this in front of junior but your anxiety is severe and i didn't realize how severe it really was.

i knew everything made me anxious but i thought it was normal.  mental health wasn't readily talked about.  not in my family anyway.  i grew up with tough love.  there was no time for feelings, at least that's how i felt anyway.  things happen.  i put on my big girl pants and keep it moving.  *shrugs*  but that's wrong.  that's no way to live.  my feelings are valid and while i should acknowledge them, i also shouldn't allow them to cripple me.  and so in therapy and with trial and error, i learned different ways to deal with my anxiety.  i'll most likely always have anxiety.  it's just in my dna.  i'll always internally freak out about things (everything!!!) but now i'm more aware of it.  and i can do certain things to help me calm down and not allow it debilitate me.

here are 5 ways i deal with my anxiety:

1. hemp/cbd oil. one day i was randomly googling about what to help with a-d-d for someone that i know and i came across hemp oil on amazon. i started reading up on the benefits of hemp oil and saw anxiety on the list. i bought it for myself to try it out and swear by it. if i’m ever in a situation where i feel anxious (usually my heart is racing like crazy), i'll put a few drops of hemp oil under my tongue and almost instantly feel relaxed. (no, not high. the hemp plant has little to no traces of thc and therefore does not give you that psychedelic effect.  but do your own research).  this is the one i have.

2. talk about it. i know this sounds simple but for me, when i have anxiety it’s most likely because i’m living some sort of fear induced fantasy in my head. one where i give too many shits about what other people think, you know the que diran, the what will they say/think. and so if i talk about it to who ever is around me, more times than not i’ll come back to reality and feel less anxious.

3. acknowledge it. sometimes i’m in a situation where there isn’t anyone to actually talk to about it. sometimes i’m by myself somewhere, and nothing gives me more anxiety than being by myself somewhere new! so acknowledging the fact that i am anxious and trying to understand why i’m feeling anxious usually helps me keep the anxiety at bay.

4. cbd vape. after researching about hemp oil, i looked into a cbd pen and it saw has a similar effect. i have this one and it works just like the hemp oil. i use them interchangeably, whichever is around when i need it.  if i'm being honest, i misplaced my cbd vape and don't know where it is currently.  ha!

5. chamomile pills. again, a similar effect to the hemp oil and cbd pen. i always have chamomile pills in my purse with me. these do take longer to kick in but it’s better than nothing! my therapist actually recommended i use them and they have helped me in many situations.  if i’m feeling extremely anxious, i'll take 2 pills and within 10-15 minutes, i’ll start feeling more relaxed.  these are also great for night time when i'm too anxious to fall asleep (that doesn't happen often, though.  my anxiety stems from more social situations).

none of these remedies remove my anxiety completely. they simply just help me deal with it in the moment.  i think accepting what your feeling and trying to understand why is the key to working through anything.  whether it be anxiety or any thing else.

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january 1, 2019 marked day one of full on keto at the orellana household.  i talk about it a lot on my instagram stories, sharing recipes and when i cheat, so make sure to follow along over there.    i figured today i could go a little more in depth on why i'm doing keto and what keeps me motivated.

i started out doing keto for several reasons and am continuing to do it for different reasons! when people hear the word “diet” they assume people only go on diets to lose weight. diets are for many different reasons, not just to lose weight. in fact, some people go on  diets to actually gain weight or because of other health issues. forget it, when i mention to my family about my “diet” cue the comments. ay ralizabeth! pero, you need nutrients yea, but there’s no nutritional value in rice. ay ralizabeth, pero you need vegetales!  i’m eating more veggies than ever before. ay ralizabeth! pero tu ta bien flaca.  i've been "skinny" my whole life so...

my number one reason for starting keto was to motivate my husband. he has so many different gastrointestinal issues. he’s spent many hours cooped up in the bathroom, ruining so many of our weekends together and causing him to either call out of work or leave work early on some days. it’s been literal years that we’ve been trying to figure out what exactly causes his flare ups. we would always narrow it down to specific foods and then bam. flare up out of nowhere after having something we thought was ok for him to have. he’s gone to the doctor many times, has had a endoscopy and has just been told he has food allergies and stay away from those foods.  sure.  thanks.  this makes my life as the chef in our household not difficult at all!  *eyeroll*

aside from all that, he’s picky (or i should say he was picky). i’m talking nothing green, nothing foreign. us going to peoples house for dinner has always been an issue. and that’s another thing, if you don’t eat at someone’s house, it’s the ultimate offense. insane how people would take his allergies so personally as if there was something wrong with their food because his body legit couldn’t tolerate it. or even worse, the assholes that lie and say they cooked something and really made what he was actually allergic to. those nights were fun.

so cue the keto diet. i’d heard about it. i’d been wanting us to eat better, be healthier, eat more veggies but getting that stubborn man to ever listen to me was hard. so i’m like pshhh! screw him. i can’t get him to eat healthier. we know he can have these specific, processed foods, that’s what he’s going to eat! and one day i said that in a convo with a few of my dominican aunts and my tia enma was all like “mija, he’s going to end up in the hospital and it’s going to be you suffering”. and i was like damn, why you gotta be right, though? get yourself a dominican aunt if you don’t have one! they put shit into perspective, man!

so we tried it last year and we failed. i wasn’t committed. and i say i because he’s not one to be in the kitchen or do the grocery shopping. he’s not the one cooking and researching. he eats what i give him. or he cooks what i take out. i used to get angry because that responsibility fell on me. but let’s be real, the responsibility falls on me. and i wasn’t prepared!

finally, at the end of last year, we made a commitment...we’re going to be basic bitches and start a new year’s resolution.  on january 1st... keto diet! it’s on!

and we didn’t fail like i thought we were going to. dude! we’re still doing keto. this is no longer some cool fad that we’ve jumped on. na bro. this is our lifestyle!

so aside from wanting to help myself by helping my husband, i also had a little goal i wanted to reach. i wanted to lose those last 10 pounds i had gained after college and getting married. yea yea, i know. i’m skinny. i look good. blah, whatever dude. we all have personal goals in our minds and we all know what our best self looks like. i despise talking about weight because people always tell me i shouldn't be watching what i eat or wanting to lose weight but it’s my body and i wanna live my best life! anyway, within 2 weeks of keto (with 2 cheat days mixed in) i lost an inch around my waist and 5 pounds. now, almost 2 months in, i've reached my personal goal of losing 10 pounds and now my focus is maintaining and just staying healthy. i'm working on getting myself to work out or do yoga. that's my next self care project.

but none of the above is why i’m still doing keto! (what?! you mean she’s not done writing??? nope! i’ve got more to share). when i was younger, i used to pass out from hunger. wtf! why didn’t your parents feed you? they did. a lot. i was told i was perfectly healthy and just had a fast metabolism. but if i didn’t eat every 3 hours, my blood sugar would drop. i would start shaking, sweating, get really really hot and then really really cold. the passing out ended up being from anxiety of feeling so sick. (my anxiety attacks, i’ve recently learned, are me just completely blacking out.  shutting down.  done with living life right now.  be back in a bit.  lol!!!  more on that another day, this post is long enough).

a few weeks ago, i had a cheat day. i ate sushi for lunch which had a lot of carbs in the rice. i went in! it was delicious and i don’t regret it at all. but within 3 hours of eating, my blood sugar dropped. i was starving. so starving you would have thought i hadn’t eaten in days! i started shaking. what. the. actual. fuck?! this is when it hit me. my body literally cannot tolerate the excess sugar. the excess carbs that turn into sugar. it just does not work out for me and no conventional doctor would ever know that or think to tell me that.

when you test me, i’m perfectly healthy. just eat more frequently. ok sure. but now that i’ve eliminated carbs and sugars from my diet, i can go 4, 5 even 6 hours without feeling sick. yes, i’ll be hungry.  starving even. but hungry like a normal person! when people would tell me they could go all day without eating i never understood! i would pass out if i didn’t eat at minimum 3 meals a day! those survivor shows like naked and afraid??? but how?! i could never! but now i get it. no one gets sick like i would get sick. typically your blood sugar shouldn’t drop like that. i was never diagnosed with hyperglycemia or hypoglycemia (is there a difference?) or diabetes. i was perfectly healthy. but i wasn’t. and now, i know i can control that.  i won’t feel sick like i used to. and for me, that is enough of a reason to motivate me to stay on keto. yes i want to look my best. sure, i wanna help my husband. but i’m on keto because it really just agrees with me and my body and helps me live my best damn life!

small disclaimer...i’m no doctor. i’m no nutritionist. i’m just a regular girl from new jersey, born and raised.  just over here figuring out how to live my best life. go talk to your professionals and figure out what’s best for you. the keto diet works for me. at least for now. and i’m more motivated than ever.

disclosure: some of the links below are affiliate links, meaning, at no additional cost to you, i will earn a commission if you click through and/or make a purchase.  thank you for helping support my blog!

shop this look:
||  matching set c/o shein  ||  teddy coat  ||  glasses  ||  sneakers  ||  beanie (similar)  ||
use code Q1ohsheslovely15 for 15% off shein.com



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