marriage: my husband bought a motorcycle

August 20, 2018

my husband bought a motorcycle!  he took a course a few weeks ago and sold it to me by saying that he wants his motorcycle license so that when we travel, he can rent one.  i said ok cool, as long as we don't have to buy one.

then he learned that renting a bike was a little more involved and not really worth, naturally the conversations of wanting to buy one started happening.  "oh look at this bike on craigslist!"  "look at this one at a dealer by my job!"  "omg we're going to be in vermont this weekend and there's a bike on the way to the resort.  let's get it."  "hey come with me to this bike shop so we can just look..."  i had my reservations solely based on finances.  we have goals dude!  we want things and to have those things we need the funds.  we need to save!  but he wouldn't let up.  so we sat down and crunched numbers.  once we saw how we could financially do it, i gave him the green light.  (this was all within a month/month and a half time span)

the first thing that comes out of everyone's mouth to him is "how did you convince your wife?!"  everyone looks to me as if i was supposed to stop him, or give him a hard time about it.  i started thinking like wait, am i supposed to be worried? am i supposed to control him?  i even shared this picture on my insta-story saying "plus also, you think i can control this guy?"  and i've been thinking about this a lot lately.  i don't want to control him!!

if there is something that i am totally against, junior and i talk about it.  we have conversations that last for hours about different things.  maybe even days.  if i'm not on board with something, we talk about it.  there's no need to blindly forbid him from doing anything.  he is his own person and has his own wants and desires.  i am here to talk to him and we can decide together if his ideas are bad ideas or they are good ideas.  i am here to support him even if i do have certain reservations (within reason, of course).

because of other people's projections, i started thinking am i not concerned about his safety enough?  am i not woman enough because i choose not to control my husband?  the answer is NO!  never let anyone dictate how you're supposed to feel.  i cannot let other people's fears dictate my life.  i've lived *almost* 29 years of my life in fear.  it's only been very recently that i can honestly say i've been seeing things differently and giving more thought into why i make the decisions that i make.  and i don't owe anyone an explanation for that.  you be you, let me be me.

my point is, i'm proud of where we are in our marriage and how we can openly have these conversations.  i'm proud that he wants to continue learning and doing new things and is comfortable enough to share that with me.  i would hate for him to tell me 50 years down the road "i always wanted to ride a motorcycle and you didn't let me".  life is way too short for that!!

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photographs by blissfulkaos  
this marriage series will be a series where i will randomly share the good, the bad and the ugly when it comes to our marriage.  find all marriage posts here.  i hope you learn something from our experiences!

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