June 14, 2017

i've realized recently how many limitations i subconsciously set in my life. it's in everything that i do, everything that i think.  i'm always telling myself i can't or that's stupid. i never realized how crippling it truly is to me.  i honestly feel like i haven't been living to my fullest potential.

and i can blame it on my upbringing but i'm an adult.  i make my own choices.  that's actually something that i tell myself when i see full grown adults still being upset about something that was done to them when they were 10 years old.  ugh, get over it already!   but how do you get over something you don't even realize your doing?

i will admit, i kind of feel a little lost.  like i don't even know who i am anymore.  i realized i was never able to answer the question "what do you want".  i don't even know what i want.  i never had to think about what i actually wanted.   what i wanted was never a question that anyone ever asked me.  and so when people did start asking me what did i want, i would just go along with what they wanted.   because i didn't even know how to actually want things.  and so i think i should start there.  by figuring out simple things that i want and just going after them.   i want that ___.  just buy it, ralizabeth.  i want to be better at ___.  set the goal and be better, ralizabeth.  i want to try ___.  just try it, ralizabeth.

so my goal is to release my limitations.  be more aware of why i do things or why i'm not doing things.  if i think negatively about something, question myself.  why do i think that way?  is it because i truly think it's not possible or because i'm limiting myself?  ask myself what do you want daily and actually start to put my needs and desires before anyone else's.

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