figuring out my block

January 08, 2020

if i'm being honest with myself, i know i’ve stopped my full potential.  there has to be a block.  a block that i didn’t even know existed. a block that i couldn’t figure out what it was. my girl @thekennedycurate shared this IGTV from @alyssanobroga on her stories and it really hit me. i instantly felt like that was a message i needed to hear. so i listened. i paid attention. i knew this was something i needed to mediate more on.  i usually do that in the shower, mediate.  not every shower.  heck maybe once a week, sometimes once a month.  but every so often, i sit with my thoughts, my actions, my wants and desires.  i meditate.  i think about what areas of my life need improvement.  what moments did i live that i know i wasn’t happy with how i reacted and evaluate how i could do better next time

so i saved this idea, this concept that something was blocking me, for just the right moment.  and that moment came last night, while in the shower.  i sat with that.  i sat with the question... what may my block be?  what am i actually afraid of?  and guess what!  i figured it out.  i figured out what was stopping me from going after what i want.  i’m not sure how to fix it or what i can do to be a better version of myself, to move past that block.  the one that makes me think i’m not good enough. or that i am good enough, i just care too much about what people think.  what if i actually do succeed?  and then what?...  but figuring my the why is half the battle.

if you feel like you feel like you’ve hit a road block and nothing you try works, ask yourself what is it that you’re afraid of.  i promise you, if you’re honest with yourself, you’ll figure out what’s blocking you.  and then you can make the choice either to do something about it or continue to ignore it.  i'm choosing to do something about it.  

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photographs by blissfulkaos

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