ralizabeth: new year

embracing growth in 2024

January 11, 2024

2024 – the year i decide to resurrect my blogging journey? who knows! check back in with me on december 31st, and we'll see if i've been consistently blogging throughout the year. if there's one lesson i took away from last year, it's that planning my year in advance is not realistic. i entered last year with high hopes, believing it would finally be my breakthrough year, the year where i'd make something of myself. as it turns out, the opposite happened.

i found myself spending less and less time creating and sharing my thoughts online than ever before, a hiatus from my social media presence since joining in the early 2000s. growing up in a strict latin household, my identity has always had an online component. as social media expanded, and more platforms were created, i found myself increasingly pushing my own voice into the background, writing and creating less and less. the fear of people actually seeing me grew as I stunted my own growth.

this space has amassed a total of 260,085 all-time readers, a fact that astonishes me. i'm aware that some sites achieve that kind of readership in a month, a week, or even a day. and considering i launched this blog back in 2015, 260,085 might not seem like a massive number, but truthfully, it's far beyond what i ever anticipated for visitors to my corner of the internet. it's something i should embrace and celebrate, not shy away from.

growth – that's my mantra for the year. i've sowed numerous seeds throughout my life, and it's about time to let them grow. i need to present myself as i am, where i am – to be disciplined enough to create even when i lack motivation and disciplined enough to rest when it's necessary. last year came with its challenges, uncharted territory for both my husband and me to navigate. i can't predict where the next year will take me, but i'm entering it with a readiness to enjoy the journey and trust in my own guidance.

tomorrow our seeds will grow. all we need is dedication. Mary J. Blige. “Everything Is Everything.” My Life, Uptown/MCA, 1994.

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happy new year: 2022

January 01, 2022

i spent the last day of 2021 all dressed up at home, drunk while live on junior's tiktok. we took a few pictures and made a video i shared on tiktok and we danced with a bunch of strangers online hanging out with us. once it was time to cook dinner, i changed into sweatpants and cooked while drinking an entire bottle of champagne. it was so unexpectedly fun. i had a specific menu in mind so i went to the grocery store earlier in the day and picked up all the ingredients that i needed (plus a bottle of champagne). i also randomly went to the mall the day before to see if i could find a shimmery top to ring in the new year with. it was a last minute thought and it was so perfect (and only $9)! i also saw this tiktok video of hair tinsel and i swear i never ordered anything that fast from amazon before (thank you prime for next day shipping!). everything fell together so perfectly. i seriously couldn't have planed a better night even if i tried.

today, i took the day to rest. i wanted to just slow down so i did. i had originally wanted to be extra productive and create content so i could start the new year with content stocked up to share. to come up with a new posting schedule. junior and i even spoke about filming another multi-outfit couple video but i woke up with the biggest urge to slow down and rest, and that's exactly what we did. it felt amazing and was just what i needed. more of listening to my body in 2022, yes please!

i've been meaning to put together a mood board or make a list of goals and i just haven't done it. making goals feels so intimidating to me so i think i'm procrastinating. that's clearly an area that i need to work on in my growth so i'm just going to acknowledge that and start one thing at a time. i'm not starting the new year with this long list of goals and this super aesthetic mood board and i don't think i need to feel bad about that and honestly, i don't want to feel bad about that. i've been wanting to start blogging again and so instead of writing that out on some list that i'm going to forget about in two weeks, i'm here showing up, just doing it. more of that in 2022!

i say, more gratitude in 2022! and more showing up as we are! cheers to you and to me in this new year. may we be the best versions of ourselves and if that's too hard, may we at least be grateful for showing up. these past couple years have been a lot on all of us.

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2018: the year of growth

December 31, 2018

last day of the year! whoaaaaa!!!! i'm feeling ready for what's to come. i'm feeling happy for what happened. for the lessons i learned. the soul searching that i did. i'm seeing this as a collective all across all of my social platforms. 2018 was the year of growth. 2017 was one of the worst years of my life and 2018 was the result of that. i had two choices, stay on the same path and just revel in my misery or do something. i chose to do something.

i went to therapy. well, i started therapy in 2017. but this year it changed me. this is something that i'll talk about more when i feel ready. and when i say ready, i mean when i can formulate my thoughts about it. i hid it because of fear of what people thought. wait, she doesn't have it together? i feared that. but now i embrace it. because you know what? i know you don't have it together either. we're all learning this thing called life together. and i learned so much that i would love to just share with the world! this is a beautiful life and if we're not living it, what are we really doing?

i did some soul searching. some wait, ralizabeth. you're wrong and you need to admit that. admitting our faults is not something i was taught growing up. actually, people in my life believe i'm being brainwashed by my husband because i have the ability to speak out my faults and want to correct them. isn't that a crazy notion? it would be easier to believe that me becoming my best self is the result of someone's control over me rather than me actually being my best self. things like that used to make me extremely uncomfortable. anxiety producing. but now, i just revel in my happiness. i am me. i am free to be me. and none of what anyone thinks is any of my business!

i worked with some amazing brands. this year i partnered with some really amazing brands, most of which i already used and others that i never used but wanted to try out and ended up loving. and guess what? i actually made some real, tangible coin doing it. not just free product. i'm talking cash, people. what is this life i'm living?! let me tell you, when you put effort into things, greatness can happen. it is absolutely amazing.

i met some amazing people. i read a tweet from kanye earlier this year "follow your heart and find your tribe. Your tribe are the people with similar passions". that really stuck with me for that latter part of the year. while i love the people in my life for different reasons, no one in my life did what i did. understood what i wanted. motivated me to go after what i wanted. and so i found my tribe. i found people to support me. and people to applaud me. having a sense of community makes all the difference. find your people.

i put my husband first. the most important thing in my life right now is my marriage. the most important person in my life right now is my husband. blood family will always be my blood family. but my husband can leave me. i can leave him. being together is our choice. and daily we have to make the choice to show up for each other. junior is my person. my absolute favorite person. this year i fell in love with him. i always loved him. but it's so different now. his happiness is my happiness and i have a hand in his happiness. as does he in mine. and let me not confuse you, because we determine our own happiness! but we add to each other's happiness. and that's the life i've always dreamt of having. we're a team. we're finally a team!

this year was hard. but it was amazing. i finally know who i am and i love her.

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